NaNoWriMo - The End!

Well, NaNoWriMo is over, finished, finito for 2010, and not only do I feel relief, I feel bereft! I really did not expect that emotion at all. I expected to feel relief as the pressure was so great, but I did not expect to feel that there was a gaping hole in my days! Friends and acquaintances have stopped asking about my book, as I have no more to tell them other than I have finished. But, I finish I did - just! The phrase 'by the skin of my teeth' speaks volumes about my final hours in November! And for that small achievement I feel very proud of myself. But I feel a little bit empty, like I have nothing left to talk about, write about or tweet about. My life is rather dull and I did not expect that!

I have written a YA novel, and that in itself is amazing! But, I am too scared to read it, as it is probably a pile of poo! I know that it will need a lot of editing, but I cannot bear to even open the document at present. How do writers let go? How do they get over their fear to let people read the product of their creative mind and face the comments and constructive (hopefully) criticism?

I have poured my heart and soul into this book and now I don't know what to do with it? It will probably languish on my hard drive for a couple of months until I can open it again and face reading it. A few of my friends have asked to read it, but I don't want them too. One friend who is a teacher of year 2 read the first couple of paragraphs and commented that it was "rather easy to read, " to which I agreed, but stressed that it is aimed at teenagers, not adults!

After that comment, there is no way I want anyone else to read it! But how can I progress if no-one reads it? I can't, so I must, but I don't want to let them! I know that I sound like a petulant child, but it is a big hurdle to overcome. So how do writers overcome it? Do they just bite the bullet, grit their creative teeth and send it out to agents or publishers? Do they post it on their blog, hoping to be discovered that way? Or do they just let their nearest and dearest read it, knowing that their comments will be toned down (hopefully)? Decisions, decisions.

I know that my work of creative fiction is not ready for anyone to read and I know that I need to crack on with the editing process, but I am scared. Scared I have wasted a month of my life, writing. I am not a writer, I know that, that title is reserved for the many talented people I have met and talked to on Twitter and Facebook. But, I do so hope to be, soon.